Time for Trouble

ALARIC MASEN, WHAT HAPPENED?
Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

Oh, Alaric, you're so gorgeous...even in that bright orange jumpsuit. Yeah, you read that right. The one and only Alaric Masen has a mugshot. Isn't he brooding? One of our readers was devious enough to e-mail us a copy of it. This is just another round of disdain from us. What the hell are you thinking, Alaric? First Meghan, then Aist, then back to Meghan? Now this?

Could it be a cry for help from both Alaric and Acacia Masen? After all, it's no secret that little bitch - wait, sis - Acacia was in some hot water with the fuzz earlier this year...apparently, she had no idea how those shoes got in her purse.

We'll be interested to see what our sources dig up as to why you were arrested? Speeding? Drugs? Making that orange jumpsuit look that good? Beat up your girlfriend? Of course, Meghan makes everyone want to hit her, so if it's either of the last two options...we feel for you, Alaric. No man should be punished for making the world a better place.


SUMMER LUST TRIANGLE
The course of true love never did run smooth. In this case, it's probably more lust than love. Well-known bad boy Axel Lorcan has been playing two girls, not that they know. Hey Axel, they probably know now, and we're fairly sure that they aren't going to be happy. It's unknown which girl he's actually dating, or if he just finds himself trading off between two beds every other night. Honestly, we're still not sure how he managed to get that close to either of them in the first place. Our money is on roofies.

From left to right, we have: JasinElle Adlam, Axel Lorcan, and Aurelia Tallis. If we put him in the middle, maybe they'll hurt him instead of each other.

First off, we have JasinElle Adlam. It's not just Adam Adlam who needs an attitude adjustment, unfortunately. He's at least tolerable for short periods of time...meaning five minutes. If you're exposed to JasinElle for more than 15 seconds, you will become ill from her toxicity levels. Yeah, she's really that bitchy. In fact, we're pretty sure she kills kittens for fun.

Compared to JasinElle Adlam, Meghan Alcott looks like your new BFF. Yeah, we went there.

Aurelia Tallis, the ice princess herself, is the other person who's been sucked into the drama in this. Not a lot is known about her. She keeps to herself, but is very visible in the social strata. If you catch a glimpse of her out and about with Axel, for some odd reason, she looks like she loves bad boy. What does her family think of her bringing home this one to meet the 'rents?

Axel, you're good looking enough that you'd be a keeper...if you weren't such a cheater.


HONEY D'VORN ISN'T SO SWEET, AFTER ALL

Oh, Honey D'Vorn. How the innocent ones always decieve us. A rumor from the hallowed halls of Duchesne cite Honey as having opened her locker and having piles of stuff fall out. Textbooks, papers, that math homework from two weeks ago, something a bit moldy...

And some explicit pictures.

Honey, we don't know what you're thinking. But this picture sure makes it look like you'd like to be the one those photos are taken of.

How does big brother Jesse D'Vorn feel about his little sister's new...developments? We're not sure, but we'll be trying to find out. Or at the very least, watch his face when he finds out what Honey D'Vorn keeps in her backpack.

Cause we're pretty sure he knows now, Honey. Oh yes, even if he didn't see this, it's going to be all over the Upper East Side. May we suggest that you hide from the fallout? Jesse's anger is like an atomic bomb, and he'll be starting WWIII with you in approximately two hours, thirty seven minutes, and eight seconds.

It just goes to show: it's always the quiet ones.



WHO'S THAT GUY?

Viola Mirza has been spotted dating a mystery man. No, seriously. We have no idea who the hell he really is. But he is pretty good-looking. (Although he's not, shall we say, Alaric Masen caliber.)

While Viola is pretty enough, we do have to ask, how the hell did she get him? Viola's a member of one of the more visible families of the Upper East Side. And she's been known for many things...but not for dating. Anyone. She's been on a few blind dates - the guys she's been spotted with are proof enough of that - but actually dating someone voluntarily? No way.

If someone can I.D. this man, and/or tell us why he's with her...we'll love you forever.


CAN'T FIND THOSE PARTY PEOPLE TO MAKE SOME NOISE

It's come to our attention that Aist Noir and Neil Verere, partiers extraordinaire, have been missing from the last few blowout summer bashes. We at Paper Dolls firmly believe that you all know where they're hiding...and just keeping mum on the subject.

While whispers circulated about the two of them shacking up in the Hamptons, we eagerly awaited the pictures of them on a beach somewhere. Unfortunately, The New York Times has recently reported the possibility that the two have been kidnapped.

Aist, Neil, we're not at all worried, we're just waiting to see how things pan out. If you need us...don't. We advise having 911 on your speed dial.


POLL RESULTS!

"Who's Alaric going to end up with?"

20% said "Sadly, Meghan..."

0% said "Aist?!"

20% said "ME! ME! PICK ME!!!!"

60% said "He'll die alone with this attitude."

The New Yorkers have it right again.

TELL US THE 411

We would be nothing without the generous souls who email and text us our juciest stories, responses, and ideas. Keep them coming, boys and girls! Contact us here!

Spring is in the air!

I hope you’ve all pre-ordered those oh-so-now preppy cardigans, why not look your best while the Upper East Side falls apart this spring? Remember, you’ve heard it here first!

ALARIC MASEN LEASHED?
Oh no, we’d never thought we’d see the day. Blood’s boiling all over New York, because guess what? The man we’ve all wanted since pre-k in prep school is TAKEN. Alaric, how you disappoint us! Even worse, it seems the one tightening the reins is none other than is our old, washed up Queen Bitch nee Megan Alcott.

Meghan….. why won’t you just disappear?

Now that we’ve gotten the bad news out of the way, here’s the bright side. Apparently there’s some trouble in paradise. Our sources kindly report loud, obnoxious yelling – of not too nice things – coming from Alaric’s upside apartment mommy and daddy bought him. (Now was that the oh so darling little sister entering after?) Cross your fingers ladies! Hopefully the bed’s just as empty as the ridiculous front of their ‘relationship’!

PLAYBOY PLAYED?

Aist, they’ll have your head.

Correction ladies and gentlemen! We always hate to be wrong, but especially this time. Some scandalous pictures have found their way into our manicured hands. Aist Noir and Alaric Masen?! Now, now little girl, think before you play with fire. Ever heard of Meghan and Acacia? Oh they’ll have your head for this, even if you like to say it was ‘strictly professional’. Modeling can’t be your excuse for everything, lovely. By the way, what will Elliot think of you, tsk tsk, playboys only have a certain tolerance for this…


WE’VE MISSED YOU!

Reese Youngblood has come back to us!

Oh Reese, it’s been too long! What rock have you been hiding under? We bet its sheathed in gold and diamond studded. With our own, anonymous eyes we’ve spotted the famed playboy abut town, a wake of fainting girls behind him. Good luck ladies, all of Manhattan’s trying to snatch pretty-boy up. And it’s going to be a whole lot easier with supposed boyfriend Julius Hart MIA. I don’t even have to say that we’ll be first in line for a date with Mr. Youngblood. Hey, even five minutes of his time is worthwhile! Keep up the good work Reesey, we’ll be hot on your trail!

DO YOU SEE WHAT WE SEE?
Anyone else notice the skyrocketing crime rate sweeping our playground? Hey New York, smarten up, we like scandal and gossip but not law breaking! The Times says its cults, killing all the frosh around here. Here’s a safety reminder from your favorite it-girls-about-town. Lock your doors! That new Prada carryall is just about a precious as the pretty little heads we need to keep the social scene alive!


POLL RESULTS

“What’s Meghan’s motive?”

11% said “Snagging Alaric!”
22% said “Angering Acacia!”
66% said “No Motive. She’s a natural slut.”

When will our loyal followers ever be wrong?!

TELL US THE 411
We would be nothing without the generous souls who email and text us our juiciest stories, responses, and ideas. Keep them coming, boys and girls! Contact us here!

The Season of Love...is Apparently Not in February

WE LOVE TO SAY WE TOLD YOU SO!

Officially split in July

You guys haven't been doing your jobs! How did we miss the split of the summer?! We have finally confirmed that Jesse D'Vorn has split from ho-hum-Hambleton and a contented feminine sigh of relief can be heard throughout the city. Too bad we're 6 months behind the times! Excuse me while I slip a vicodin in order to recover from this epic slip.

It's okay, we'll rectify this with the latest news on Mr. D'Vorn. We've gathered from a reliable source that he slipped into the apartment building of well known heiress Rachelle Gavison late last week. Gavison and D'Vorn have been sighted together many times in the past, and we have to wonder; is he rekindling an old flame? Say it isn't so!

MEGHAN ALCOTT'S ON THE MOVE
As you all know, the return of Meghan Alcott, former it-girl and debutante extraordinaire, has caused some drama in Manhattan lately.

Oh, who are we kidding?
She's caused a whole hell of a LOT of drama.

Firstly, much to our disdain, she returned in late May only to drive her brother out of the house. Caleb Alcott was able to convince his parents to allow him to go to a prestigious boarding school in London to escape her clutches! Congradulations Meghan, you have now earned the hatred of half the girls in Manhattan. We'll trade you in to have the other Alcott back, please. He might have had a wretched personality, but who pays attention to that type of thing anyways?

They just don't compare...

Next on the list of reasons to watch Alcott was a series of verbal spats with the girl who took over her gilded throne: Acacia Masen. Incidentally, the only person who actually wanted Caleb Alcott enough to try to toy with him, much to his big sis's displeasure. The drawn-out hostility between the pixie-sized whore and the towering former Queen Bitch—Bee came to an end when Meghan won a bet that had Acacia dying her hair green. Lime green. At Acacia's own party.

Bitch doesn't deserve him.

But this one tops the list so far. Oddly enough, Meghan has hooked up with one Alaric Masen. Rumor has it that all sorts of noises could be heard coming from his yacht (after she was spotted on it with him), anchored a few miles out from the city. Of course, every girl on the planet is jealous of her, because after all, who wouldn't want to hook up with Alaric? They've been seen about the city since then, partying in clubs, partying at parties, holing up in one or the other's apartment and avoiding the world for a weekend. Or a week. Maybe two. The scandal is that it's no secret that his little sister hates his new bed buddy. Well, let's assume that they're bed buddies, because Alaric doesn't do girlfriends. Commitment issues much, Alaric?

But we're straying from the topic at hand. When will this one blow up into yet another confrontation? Or when will Alaric realize he's gotten all sorts of nasty STD's from his new playtoy? Or even more shocking, will he ask her to be his girlfriend? Next installment of this blog will certainly be steamy!

HOT MALE ACTION!

If only they were straight ladies.

Moving on, Reese Youngblood and Julius Hart were spotted making out in a coffee shop. As we hope you know, Reese is a well-known playboy. Less well-known Julius is a male stripper with a pretty face. From there, there were a few shows of emotion, promptly ended by an impromptu make-out session and deciding to leave the establishment before anyone could get mad about the indecorous conduct. They were last spotted entering Julius's apartment. Who wants to take bets on what did or didn't go down? Cause we'd be willing to bet that they did everything they could think of, and then some. Even more interesting, Reese looks like he's about ready to take out anyone who gives Julius a second glance as they walk down the street. Do we see commitment in their future? A committed stripper would certainly be a first for our blog..

PLAY BOY BRINGS... FLOWERS?

If only they were straight deserveladies.

Aist Noir and Elliot Parker. Now, what is up with those two? Aist is a known hippie chick and yay for going green person, with a mother who has a great deal of influence in the fashion world. Elliot is a known ladies man. Yet oddly enough, something about Aist has tamed his wandering heart. She apparently has been trying —and failing— to avoid him for the last few weeks. He was spotted heading for her apartment with a lovely bouquet of red roses. How disgustingly sweet. Please, excuse me while I vomit. The entire city is wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Unfortunately, being overly romantic isn't a symptom of H1N1, so let's see how he tries to pass this one off.

POLL RESULTS

"Are Catherine & RaeLeann for real?"

46% said "Totally getting freaky for attention!"
20% said "Just a meaningless crush."
20% said "True love!"
13% said "Nothing happened..."

Our thoughts exactly, loyal viewers.

TELL US THE 411
We would be nothing without the generous souls who email and text us our juiciest stories, responses, and ideas. Keep them coming, boys and girls! Contact us here!

Back to School has never been this exciting!

That's right avid readers, we have to go back to school this week. But we felt it only right to provide you with some juicy topics of discussion to keep you entertained amidst fighting for the best lunch table, and checking out that cute guy down the hall.

HELLO HANDSOME

Calvin Klein or not, this man is hot.

Alaric Masen is back in town! That's right you heard it here first. If you don't know who Alaric is you might as well grab a noose and put yourself out of your misery right now. Unsubscribe, you're a disgrace to this blog.

His handsome face has graced ads of Dolce, Calvin, and Armani... he's one of the highest paid models in this city, and I'm sure you can tell why. Girl's hearts everywhere are swelling with relief now that he's out of the clutches of those tanned beauties. Sources say he spent his summer beach hoping and spending the night with an array of exotic females. Just hope they saved some for the rest of us...

JAIL BAIT? BIG SURPRISE

Oh, I didn't realize I forgot to pay for those shoes I inconspicuously slipped in my bag...

Of course we can't talk about one MASEN without running into the other; infamous, Acacia. Nerds everywhere must be doing a victory dance. Google hits on her name have reached an all time high, everyone hopelessly searching to find pictures of her at the NYC Police Station. That's right, the NYtimes can't hide that infamous, overstated face of yours Ms. Queen Bee. Paper Dolls & Paparazzi:1 Acacia:0!

It really is a shame she gets to spend so much time with him.
She deserves to be locked up.
But alas, on to more important things, like washing my hair.

SOCCER FOR CHARITY

September 12th, the game is on!

Now Paper Dolls isn't known for covering events like this, and to be honest it's not all the proceeds to Lenox Hill's pediatrics that interests us. Ohhh noo... It's the eye candy. Ladies, you'll want to pick up a pair of binoculars and get your but in the stands come the 12th because the sights will be a stunnin'!


The roster has been filling up online for a few weeks now and just yesterday infamous NYC DJ Jared O'Conner put forth this name. Soon after Alaric - as previously mention, god he's hott - Mason became a member of the opposition. If seeing these two go at it isn't enough incentive the rest of the two teams will be filled out with many of the Duchesne Students and Alumi. Including well known names; Aist Noir, Callum Pierce, Acacia Masen, Keira Darcy, Rae LeAnn Voture, Elliot Parker, Trent Bourne, Cat Lee, Desmonda Rozak, Steven Bastet, Meghan Alcott, and Luca Blithe.

Who would have thought 'jail bait' could even play soccer? She's probably just looking for an opportunity to run around the NYC elite in some booty shorts... or keep her on again off again fling Jared O'Conner's eyes from wandering. Hey, I guess we can't blame her there. A picture's worth a thousand words.

What we wouldn't give to attend premiers with that

Another team mate that we can't forget to mention is the formerly dull, Catherine Lee. Who knew this little thing had a wild side. Her and friend RaeLeann Voture have been seen walking arm and arm, laughing and snuggling close. We have to ask, how close is too close? Are we going to have to stand witness to these two's 'experimentation phase'? Is Cat going to pull a Kendle? I know the men of NYC, by now, have just about wet themselves with excitement, but Paper Dolls isn't all that impressed. There's better ways to get attention.


Are they or aren't they?

And lastly, loyal minions we have some horrible news! It's not breaking, but we need to commemorate nonetheless. One of our formerly worshiped men of interest, Hayden Marsh was found dead in a shady part of town this past July. It was deemed a suicide by the good ol' fuzz but we're suspicious. Anyone who knew Hayden knew he was too hott to give into the emo trend and slash his wrists. I mean come on, he was known for being a man 'of large stature'. Who would give that up? Paper Dolls tips our hat to Hayden and his family. Oh the beautiful babies that could have been had and the fun that could have caused them.

RIP HAYDEN MARSH, and the organ that made you famous.

POLL RESULTS

"How do you spend your NY summers?"

25% said "At the beach, baby!"
75% said "In the city, of course!"
0% said "Anywhere but NY, duh!"

Oh New York, how die hard you are..

TELL US THE 411
We would be nothing without the generous souls who email and text us our juiciest stories, responses, and ideas. Keep them coming, boys and girls! Contact us here!

Let's have some fun!

We're baaack! Did you miss us? No need to comment, it's a rhetorical question.
Clearly you've all missed us, because our inbox has been bursting since the start of summer and we are all too happy to share the juicy details we've been dished.
So, let's get down to business.

HEADED FOR SPLITSVILLE

Auburn, maybe, but blond Jes's beau is not.
We love to say it: We told you so, Emmeline.

JESSIE D'VORN was spotted by our sources getting hot and heavy with a blond in an alley last week, and in a shady part of town. Funny, we don't remember hearing that his girlfriend HO-HUM HAMBLETON had changed her hair color...

LET'S CRASH THE PARTY

A beach-side Ferris wheel? Oh, how quaint.
Here's hoping you have your Tetanus shots.

Did you know? CATHERINE LEE has turned 18, and her so-called friends are helping her celebrate. If you want to crash Catherine's one and only celebration of her one-eight, head to Breeze Point in Brooklyn, and tell them Paper Dolls sent you.

THE EVENT OF THE SEASON
(UNFORTUNATELY)

This is the site of the summer's hottest bash.
We know, we know. We're disappointed, too.

Somehow our favorite pixie slut ACACIA MASEN has managed to convince the entire city that the place to be is her East Hampton mansion this summer. We hate that she's right. At least go for the booze and the opportunity to snoop, like us.

TELL US THE 411
We would be nothing without the generous souls who email and text us our juiciest stories, responses, and ideas. Keep them coming, boys and girls! Contact us here!