The Season of Love...is Apparently Not in February

WE LOVE TO SAY WE TOLD YOU SO!

Officially split in July

You guys haven't been doing your jobs! How did we miss the split of the summer?! We have finally confirmed that Jesse D'Vorn has split from ho-hum-Hambleton and a contented feminine sigh of relief can be heard throughout the city. Too bad we're 6 months behind the times! Excuse me while I slip a vicodin in order to recover from this epic slip.

It's okay, we'll rectify this with the latest news on Mr. D'Vorn. We've gathered from a reliable source that he slipped into the apartment building of well known heiress Rachelle Gavison late last week. Gavison and D'Vorn have been sighted together many times in the past, and we have to wonder; is he rekindling an old flame? Say it isn't so!

MEGHAN ALCOTT'S ON THE MOVE
As you all know, the return of Meghan Alcott, former it-girl and debutante extraordinaire, has caused some drama in Manhattan lately.

Oh, who are we kidding?
She's caused a whole hell of a LOT of drama.

Firstly, much to our disdain, she returned in late May only to drive her brother out of the house. Caleb Alcott was able to convince his parents to allow him to go to a prestigious boarding school in London to escape her clutches! Congradulations Meghan, you have now earned the hatred of half the girls in Manhattan. We'll trade you in to have the other Alcott back, please. He might have had a wretched personality, but who pays attention to that type of thing anyways?

They just don't compare...

Next on the list of reasons to watch Alcott was a series of verbal spats with the girl who took over her gilded throne: Acacia Masen. Incidentally, the only person who actually wanted Caleb Alcott enough to try to toy with him, much to his big sis's displeasure. The drawn-out hostility between the pixie-sized whore and the towering former Queen Bitch—Bee came to an end when Meghan won a bet that had Acacia dying her hair green. Lime green. At Acacia's own party.

Bitch doesn't deserve him.

But this one tops the list so far. Oddly enough, Meghan has hooked up with one Alaric Masen. Rumor has it that all sorts of noises could be heard coming from his yacht (after she was spotted on it with him), anchored a few miles out from the city. Of course, every girl on the planet is jealous of her, because after all, who wouldn't want to hook up with Alaric? They've been seen about the city since then, partying in clubs, partying at parties, holing up in one or the other's apartment and avoiding the world for a weekend. Or a week. Maybe two. The scandal is that it's no secret that his little sister hates his new bed buddy. Well, let's assume that they're bed buddies, because Alaric doesn't do girlfriends. Commitment issues much, Alaric?

But we're straying from the topic at hand. When will this one blow up into yet another confrontation? Or when will Alaric realize he's gotten all sorts of nasty STD's from his new playtoy? Or even more shocking, will he ask her to be his girlfriend? Next installment of this blog will certainly be steamy!

HOT MALE ACTION!

If only they were straight ladies.

Moving on, Reese Youngblood and Julius Hart were spotted making out in a coffee shop. As we hope you know, Reese is a well-known playboy. Less well-known Julius is a male stripper with a pretty face. From there, there were a few shows of emotion, promptly ended by an impromptu make-out session and deciding to leave the establishment before anyone could get mad about the indecorous conduct. They were last spotted entering Julius's apartment. Who wants to take bets on what did or didn't go down? Cause we'd be willing to bet that they did everything they could think of, and then some. Even more interesting, Reese looks like he's about ready to take out anyone who gives Julius a second glance as they walk down the street. Do we see commitment in their future? A committed stripper would certainly be a first for our blog..

PLAY BOY BRINGS... FLOWERS?

If only they were straight deserveladies.

Aist Noir and Elliot Parker. Now, what is up with those two? Aist is a known hippie chick and yay for going green person, with a mother who has a great deal of influence in the fashion world. Elliot is a known ladies man. Yet oddly enough, something about Aist has tamed his wandering heart. She apparently has been trying —and failing— to avoid him for the last few weeks. He was spotted heading for her apartment with a lovely bouquet of red roses. How disgustingly sweet. Please, excuse me while I vomit. The entire city is wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Unfortunately, being overly romantic isn't a symptom of H1N1, so let's see how he tries to pass this one off.

POLL RESULTS

"Are Catherine & RaeLeann for real?"

46% said "Totally getting freaky for attention!"
20% said "Just a meaningless crush."
20% said "True love!"
13% said "Nothing happened..."

Our thoughts exactly, loyal viewers.

TELL US THE 411
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